JUST LIKE ALWAYS

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
    or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me.
    He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
    And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
    gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
    young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
    They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
    they walk and don’t lag behind.
 ISAIAH 40:28-31, MSG

It was stuffy, where I was. Some people say it's the state of weakness, others call it brokenness, whatever it was it was draining. I needed Him badly (still do). Everything was falling apart, my world was crumbling at my feet, right before my eyes. I was tired- tired of inconsistency, tired of irresponsibility, tired of walking out of purpose, tired of drawing away from God. I was tired of being tired and desperate for the strength of the Lord.


Okay! Let's make this practical!

I wake up in the morning and find it difficult to pray. Times when I try to, I'm distracted, can't connect or I'm simply not interested. There were times I actually fellowshiped consistently but my consistency was a couple of days back to back intimacy with the Holy Spirit. The fact that I'm not getting this Spirit business right tires me. It seems like I'm not good at anything, I can't even be in control of my day. It's unstructured so I basically flow with whatever comes my way. I'm lacking in mental energy that I can't make plans. How could I? I've gotten so used to telling the Holy Spirit things I need to get done (like he doesn't already know) and relying on Him to help me arrange them according to the order of His priorities. Since I can't make out His voice, talk less of following His guidelines, everyday seems chaotic. I'm late for class, church, literally everything even though I wake up early, the lectures are interesting but I'm not really digging them because I'm unmotivated and tired, it's hard keeping up with the assignments, I'm just really tired and brain fogged.  Everything seemed to get to me. The slightest things irritated me, situations that wouldn't provoke me ordinarily got me vexed. I was angry really angry, if you asked me why, I had no reason. Maybe I did. I guess it was because I thought I wasn't of help to myself or anybody, I couldn't even clean up the mess I was in. The Lord has given me the remarkable role of adding eternal value to the lives of people instead of doing that I procastinated, gave excuses, complained I was choking on the duties I wasn't carrying out. Honestly,  I was personifying irresponsibility. That's not all. To think that thing called satan I mean that little devil had the guts to try to deceive me into believing I'm not good enough- not good enough to be a daughter of Zion, not good enough to be of kingdom relevance, not good enough to shake nations for the cause of Christ, not good enough to access the throne of grace, not good enough to lead people into the presence of God, not good enough to make and carry out big plans. How dare he? That outcast was audacious enough to paralyze me with fear. He made me think I would be a laughing stock. He had a way of bringing up situations that made me cringe because my memories of them are terrible. I would always cry because I was afraid of repetition. The repetition I was scared of was the order of these past few months. My days encompassed all of these experiences and the cycle seemed unending. It hurt, it hurt a lot.

Stop! Stop!! Stop!!! Enough of the sad vibes. This is not a tragic entry, relax!😌 I'm bringing you a message of hope😎.

Lord I'm wasting away! I haven't done anything but think all day, why am I so tired? The fire of my revival is burning out! Please help me to illuminate this darkness that is building in me and around me! I need you Lord, I really do! From time to time, these sentences bursted out of my mouth. As much as it felt like the Lord had forsaken me, I was convinced He didn't leave me by myself. Sometimes I wasn't sure I loved Him as much as I proclaimed yet I clung to Him, believing Him was difficult still I didn't let go. There's no one else to run to lol. He is my first and last resort so I held on tight. Now guess what? He proved Himself! My God proved Himself just like always.Every time I was overwhelmed by weakness(and by weakness I'm not just reffering to fatigue, I mean all and everything that do not edify Him from anger to impatience to worry and so forth), He came through. He reached out to me at regular intervals, filling me with peace. When pressure was building He gave me relief. The funny thing is despite the relief and comfort I felt, the weakness and dryness disappeared to appear again. That made me more tired. Why do I keep experiencing the same things over and over again? When am I going to rise above this state? I'm really tired Lord, I'm seriously tired. Where are you? I need you! I want you! Please draw me close to you!!! You see the Word is true indeed and Isaiah's testimony I can tell you is more than accurate. God doesn't come and go. God lasts... He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything inside and out. Of a truth, He was always present I was the one who distanced myself from Him due to the fear of not being good enough. He knew I was tired and scared so He always took the first step. He always reached out to me. When I didn't notice or acknowledge His presence He didn't get tired of me instead He drew closer. He would pour out His spirit and I would spontaneously go into worship, sometimes I would pray and there were times I did the both and every time there was a message, there was clarity and a beautiful change of ambience. I felt like I had been transformed because He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.

Here's the part I like the most!!!

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. Fresh strength! Soaring like an eagle! Running without getting tired ( I surely like this one.Watch out I'm the next Lagos marathon winner because I'll be running without getting tired), Walking without lagging behind! All of these, hmmn hmmn all of these are my testimony. My saviour exchanged His strength for my weakness, He gave me peace in place of turbulence. Is it okay to say I'm short of words after all I have typed? I can't find the right words, really, because JESUS has done much more than I deserve. How did my tired self get to this place of strength? I waited on Him. I was weary, didn't want to talk yet I did not leave His presence. What do I mean? I didn't forsake the fellowship of the brethren. I knew being by myself would bring no good. My people I was really tired and everything around was in no way motivating, fellowship and I mean group fellowship was the way forward. You know why? Because the bible in 1 Peter 3:8 says "finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind" and the reason for this had been explained in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 which says two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil^. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Suppose I had segregated myself during that period it would have been to my detriment because where two or three are gathered in His name, there He is among them and wherever He is there is an overflow of anointing, there is illumination, emancipation, healing power is at work, even strength is available for the weak. I'm not disputing the fact that all of these and many more are available in our quiet time with God but the bible also says let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16. So you see fellowship is not called fellowship just because. Combining all four scriptures together we realize that fellowship is the unification of hearts in Christ through songs- spiritual songs and hymns, permit me to add prayers. It's an avenue for soul bonding. It makes up for the weakness of one through the bond created by many. The beautiful thing is you don't have to own a building before you fellowship, it can take place anywhere with anybody so long the foundation of the bond is Christ. So, why am I talking fellowship all of a sudden? Well that's because it was through fellowship I gained my strength. Every time I was and I am in the midst of the brethren, the things I find difficult to do by myself become easier. It's easier to pray, sing, dance, the presence of God is too heavy not to find expression. All the times I stumbled I had people to fall back on just like the bible said. Also, the knowledge of God did not stop flowing. I was refreshed in my spirit every time God spoke through His vessels. Those words I heard kept me going in fact they deepened my faith.

As much as fellowship is important, it wasn't the fellowship sessions that brought the turn around. It was faith. That strong belief that He was gonna come through. It was hope in Christ alone that one day I would rise above my weaknesses and He would be glorified in me. Declarations! They never run out of fashion. I declared my faith in God and I also declared His strength upon myself  using His word(still do). Gradually, I began to experience transformation. Whenever I was tired and wanted to back out I would quickly declare 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says, But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness". Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. After declaring that verse I would continuously proclaim the strength of Christ till I got tired and it worked for the word of God is alive and active. Did I mention that I was always filled with joy? Most times I had more than enough reasons not to be happy because things weren't falling in place but when I declared or sang or said a short prayer my heart would be filled with so much joy, so much I even questioned my happiness like the vibes were heavenly. My joy was found in the confidence I had in Him and that joy in turn yielded strength. Hallelujah!!!  During one of the praise/worship sessions in a concert I attended the Lord ministered to me saying; the peace and joy you experience every time you offer praises to me doesn't mean the storm is over rather they are signs that you have been empowered. In my presence mountains become ground and sickness, broken hearts and homes are healed even lost possessions are restored but in the case of inconsistency, fear, procastination and the likes I restore you with my strength so as to enable you work out your salvation through the things I'll lay on your heart. So, you need to clear that mentality that they just disappear because that's the sole reason for the stress you go through those times you realize they never left but were simply repressed. Do not be afraid for I am with you every step of the way, I'll order your step and you will not be overwhelmed. He reminded me of the fact that I haven't had a personal fellowship with Him in a long while. He emphasized on our quiet time together and how there's so much He wants to say to me(personal revelations and messages for other people) through this platform. He said He longs for that personal touch, He misses it so much and wants me to be grounded in it.

What's the point I've been trying to make?

There are times you will get tired in this journey to eternity. Many times your strengths will fail you (it's probably failing you right now) and you will have need of divine empowerment and it will seem like the Lord is deaf. At that point hang on, hold tight, wait on Him, He will come through, He always does. In the waiting, the devil tries to fill our hearts with darkness, he tries hard to make us depressed, he tries even harder to make us cut contact with our brethren in Christ. At moments like that you mustn't succumb to him and his. No matter how weak and unmotivated you are you must not forsake the fellowship of brethren. God works in unusual ways during such meetings and I am sure I need not go into the details of what comes with the presence of God during such sessions. As much as you can't find the right words to say to Him during your quiet time in that state of weakness mumbling those things that can be equated to jargons goes a long way. I'm saying this because this is my testimony, my experience. It's been almost two weeks since He gave me those words and I'm stronger than ever not just because of the fellowship but because I see Him in my situations, I see Him rising above them all and I choose joy over sadness because I know He always comes through. And just like always He proved to be God all by Himself. Let me add that I'm already getting back at fear and insecurity because the strength of my God has been and is being made perfect in my weakness(es). Those lies I believed, the limits I unknowingly set for myself, I'm rising above, the extra in my ordinary that I locked away, I am unleashing to the glory of God. I won't relent in interceding and testifying until fear is no longer a tenant in the hearts of men. I know for sure that I will get tired but my hope is in the unfailing strength of God and the truth that He is with me just like always.

He came through and comes through just like always!!!

M A N D A T E: Hold on tight, He comes through. Remain in His presence, He definitely comes through. Embrace joy through your songs of worship and praise for truly He comes through, just like always.