WONDER

"Take a good look at God's wonders, they will take your breath away" - Psalm 66:5

Wonder! Isn't that word just beautiful? I have known this word since forever but the reality of the meaning it carries struck me recently. I have a kid sister (Enny) who fills me with wonder every single time she crosses my thought. One time she is everywhere causing sweet trouble, I'm scolding her but she is smiling sheepishly and giving me that "I'm not affected by all those words you have uttered so can you please stop talking and let's move on?" expression. I'm like "can this babe be any less annoying?", "why won't she sulk or do something dramatic so I can be sure my message got through to her?". No! Not Enny! She would rather cling to me when I clearly said I'm in need of personal space. She would hug me tight when I say I'm no longer friends with her when she is being naughty. This evening we had that silent moment we usually observe when mum is angry. Everyone was trying as much as possible to hold their peace because all and every word we speak could and definitely would be used against us. It wasn't up to 5 minutes after mummy stopped talking actually nagging that Enny brought up a conversation, when she was done talking she started singing not minding what mum's reaction would be. Just how could I not be in awe? She is too full of wonders.


Sometimes, I sit and contemplate on how people change- from good to bad and bad to good- it's all too mysterious and wonder-FULL. Our individual differences also wows me. I love people and when I'm close enough to talk to them (make that listen, I'm more of a listener), I'm filled with amazement. The diversities in our personalities, the power in our words, the wisdom we pour out effortlessly, our varying sense of humour, the kindness in our hearts, the gorgeous smiles, hearty laughters, everything, everything intrigues me.

Now pause, take a deep breathe in and out because you are about to be flooded with wonder!

Looking back at the place I came from before I completely embraced Christ and where I am now in my walk with him, I can confidently say I am a wonder. I was stuck up, shy, fearful, hurt, vulnerable (everything got to me), pretty much didn't want to talk to anyone despite the fact that I longed for conversations and companionship. I liked the background and would do anything, and I repeat anything not to be noticed. I was sometimes gloomy and defensive (verbally). And maybe I was critical and sarcastic. I had good attributes too but every time I reminisce all I can remember is the darkness. I lived one dark life! My life wouldn't have been transformed had I not opened the door of my heart to him. I knew and loved Jesus but I had no idea my Jesus is not meant to be a friend from afar. He is meant to be close everyday and time. It took a period of brokenness to realize this (when you live dark, brokenness is not far off). And trust me when I say he replaced my brokenness with wholeness. I can never forget the joy of my salvation. It's just impossible. The wonder I am today is because of the wonder I came across.

So what is the wonder I came across?

It is the unending love of God. Yes! The love of God! How and why he cherishes me so much I still do not understand. I haven't done anything worthy of such love. The beautiful thing about his love is the fact that I don't need a reason to be loved, he loves me just because. Just because he alone offers the agape love, he alone accepts me for who I am, he alone has the total understanding of my person, he alone leads me in the path of righteousness. He alone is more than sufficient for me. He has not only brought me out of my sin and self imposed darkness into light, he has blessed me with good friends, fruits of the spirit and peace. I might not be the perfect picture of Christ yet, I am definitely radiating his glory. I am a wonder that wonders at his wonders.

I remember what I felt the day I burst out in tongues. As I spoke that unknown language I couldn't help but wonder. Different questions filled my head - Am I really speaking in the Spirit? Is the Holy Spirit actually finding expression in me? I've been counted worthy and I'm speaking the heavenly language? Just like that? Wait! Am I singing in tongues? This is my first time and I'm singing in tongues already? Wonder, wonder, wonder! Or is it how I felt after creating this blog? All it took was a trial and everything fell in place. I remember saying it's beautiful Lord, very beautiful, the blog and the write up came out beautifully. Did you just do this through me and to me? Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, I am beyond grateful. Wonder! I could go on and on. Another experience that stands out was today's service and after-service encounter. I had this urge to sing and pray in Spirit while the service was ongoing, I think the Holy Spirit was asking me to pray for some people and somethings I don't understand (I'm still asking him for interpretation and clarity, your prayers would be appreciated). All the while I was repressing the prayers because I didn't want to create a scene -service was ongoing- but in the after-service fellowship, oh my my my! I was literally screaming in tongues, singing and praying. I can say I totally forgot English Language. People barely hear me when I speak, most times I have to repeat my sentences over and over because my voice can be really low but there I was shouting unashamedly. It was like my shyness totally disappeared.

If there's one thing I desire, it is to never lose my wonder. Like Amanda Cook said in her song;

Wide eyed and mystified
May we be just like a child
Staring at the beauty of our king

I want to like a child pass my days drown in awe of my king, his glory and love. I want to marvel at his kindness every time he reveals more of himself to me. I long to remain astound every time I spontaneously sing and speak in Spirit. I want to experience amazement every time he gives me a word for people. I always want to be surprised when I think of his love towards me. I forever want to sing to him with the joy I experienced when I was redeemed. I never want to lose my wonder. I don't want to get familiar. The moment I do, I lose my wonder. Once my wonder is gone, I'll stop chasing after the heart of the father. My appreciation for the birth, death and resurrection of my Lord Jesus Christ will vanish. If I lose my wonder I would end my kingdom service and become irrelevant again. If I lose my wonder, I'll once more abide in sin and end in destruction.

I never want to lose my wonder!!!

M A N D A T E: To never lose our wonder, we have to remain under the shadow of the Almighty. Daily, dwelling in his presence. Offering songs of worship, praise, prayers and supplication. Never underestimating the power and bond that comes with consistent fellowship.