REAWAKENING

Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. EPHESIANS 5:14-17, KJV

Wake up from your sleep, climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light. So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants. EPHESIANS 5:14-17, MSG

People of God!!! I'm back😃😁 and I will like to sincerely apologize to everyone that frequents this blog. I know I have denied you of words that should refresh your spirits by inconsistently publishing articles. I am deeply sorry. I really love you and I want to share with you the lessons I learn in this journey of fulfilling His mandate so I'll try harder to be more responsible and committed in doing the assignment the Lord has given to me(blogging that is). I'm so sorry guys.


On a lighter note, let's catch up and talk about "Reawakening"(it's actually read in your case, lol).😉

God is good! I know you know that and you want me to get to the gist already but I want to gush about God's love for me. How and why He loves me so much I do not know. I just know I am not closing my heart to this great love. I'm not turning back. I'm souled out, completely souled out to Him. If you like me are conscious of God's love you will know there is this tenderness that comes with His love, it amazing. How He is able to remain patient with me overwhelms me. The way this love continually brings me out of darkness into light and is committed to my cause makes me cry. I mean who am I that He is mindful of me? I don't deserve this love. I'm not worthy of this overflowing love yet He drowns me in it because to Him I am priceless and enough is not good enough for me. Wow! What a mighty GOD I serve.

Here's the real gist!

For a while now I have been down. Not with fever or anything of that sort, it was more of a psycho-spiritual thing. I was experiencing things I didn't know and things I was aware of but I didn't have the courage to address. I would wake up(thanks to God), prep for school or church or any other place I needed to be and wear a mask of smiles. I would throw around "good morning!", "hello", "hi", "heeeey" in the cheeriest way possible when I know my eyes are fighting tears. Camouflage was my main attire. People thought it was confidence, poise, elegance may be but I knew, I knew I was running low on self-esteem and for the fact that I didn't want to appear broken I wore camouflage every day, all day. If you read love is ever the way you will notice that it was written in form of poetry and it's quite ambiguous/complex to understand. That was my life at that time. There was a lot going on. I had questions that needed answers. I was trying so hard to keep everything together but the more I tried the more things fell apart. There was war going on inside of me. My moods fluctuated even though I tried hard to be happy. I was broken in broken's most broken state. But you know what? Somehow I always bounced back. I didn't have the words or know the words I could say to God in prayers so I pretty much didn't pray. Even at that, there were times of spiritual outbursts. I know that could have only been God's love and the power in the prayers of interceding saints, those I know and don't know. I'm so grateful to God for their lives.

Now I know you are probably wondering where "reawakening" comes in. Hold on, you'll see😃

It came in at the point of death(death is such a strong word and it's grip on man is negatively strong). In between the hurt and ache I gradually lost motivation. I started separating myself from purpose. Nothing made sense so I questioned everything... why do I always have be the only one giving? (I give time, attention, advice, comfort and so on to friends, family literally everyone I come across) why do I have to be the one that's responsible for everything? why do I always have to take the blame? why am I always left out? why don't I have a well defined support system? why do I have to go through the process alone? why does my family have to be this way? why do I have to be strong when it's obvious I'm lacking strength? why can't I do anything right? why can't I express myself? why is it so hard finding listening ears? why do I have to be the one reaching out? why? why? why? I didn't only have questions I was extremely worried and frightful. I was worried for my family- my sisters(their future, the present, their walk with God, their education and everything one could possibly worry about), my parents(their finances, marriage, walk with God)- friends, school, God's purpose for me and so on. All of these killed my spirit man. I was overwhelmed and God came through for me just like always.

He started reawakening me. I'm using "reawakening" instead of "reawakened" because it's past continuous. What do I mean? The moment I gave my life to Christ I became dead to sin and anything that comes with sin like pain, hurt, strife etc. now I am alive to God in Christ Jesus(Romans 6:11). The life I lived pre-Christ was death and I have been eternally awakened from death to life since I chose Christ. Why then am I reawakened? and why does Christ keep reawakening me? The gospel truth is I fall short of the glory, I slip, I lose guard of my heart and walk into death(sin) but Christ through His grace calls me out of darkness into light- the reawaken part(Romans 3:22-23). He knows I will always stumble so He makes it an obligation to relentlessly wake me from the sleep of death to His life of light- the reawakening. Hallelujah!!!

What exactly is the Lord reawakening in me?

Purpose! Vulnerability! Joy! Peace! Ease! Confidence! When I sought God for reasons why I was in the state I was, He told me it's majorly because of unhealed wounds. Emotional wounds that were left untreated. And of course if the mind is not in it's right state nothing else will be. He told me I have gotten to the breaking point. I'm at that place where I need to deal with these issues because leaving them the way they are will seriously mar me. So He's bringing back the memories and orchestrating all these events that I think are unbearable because I'm in the healing season. He wants to heal me of every wound, He wants to soothe my pain, He wants to comfort my hurt. Isn't this God too good? His thoughts towards me are thoughts of peace. He has an expected end for me. Just look at the way He's helping me transition from glory to glory and His love is paving ways for me. Who am I? The expected end of this experience is for me to learn how to be vulnerable with Him. He wants me to totally depend on him for all types of support- spiritual, physical, emotional, educational, all kinds of support. He wants to make me whole! He wants balance in my life so He is dealing with the origin of the internal and external chaos. What a good God!

I desperately need this change so like Apostle Paul advised in Ephesians 5:14-17( the scripture excerpt above) I am choosing to walk in wisdom. I choose to walk in the light Christ offers. I'm going to make the most of every opportunity He offers me to show forth His light because these are end times and I was made to make a difference in this era through the gospel of Christ. I have an understanding of God's will for my life so I am not going to be unwise in my dealings by living carelessly or soaking myself in the darkness of my past. No! Not at all! I have been called out of darkness! I am alive in Christ Jesus! Jesus is reawakening me!!! I am healing! My prayer life is being revived! I have been realigned with purpose! My Godfidence is back! Peace abides in me! My zeal for school has returned! I am feeling Christ. I'm reawakening! Hallelujaaaaaaah!!!

Reawakening!!!

M A N D A T E: This is the time to let go completely of the past. The darkness does nothing but feed on the Spirit man and that hinders purpose. Open up your heart to God, let Him reawaken you.